Ahhhhhhhhhh

Blessings Darlings!

Stress.  We all have it - life is full of things that we feel are stressful.  So, what to do about it?

Short Term Fixes

I get tension head aches.  Which are caused by holding stress in my  neck and shoulders.  So I have to take time during higher-stress times to work on relaxing those muscles.  Head circles, shoulder circles, getting the Chubby Hubby or Spawn to give me neck/shoulder rubs, rubbing my neck myself, all those type of things.

Visualization works here as well. I can close my eyes and take a few deep breaths.  While doing that I visualize the breath going to my shoulders/neck, breaking up the tension there, and the tightness leaving with each exhalation.  Done when I first feel the headache coming on it can take care of it in just a minute or two!

It can be hard to concentrate when feeling stressed.  Start by having a cup of tea (or water).  First, doing this interrupts the stress-building pattern.  Second, the extra fluids help 'dilute' the cortisol your body produces when stressed.

Again, visualization can be a tool.  While I work at home, so can always light a candle and visualize it burning up the stress, allowing me to be calm and focused, you can visualize the stress going to a plant in your office where it is transmuted (like the plant transmutes carbon dioxide into oxygen), or you might have charged and lit a candle for this at some time at home, and when snuffing it charged that, say, 'the flame burns forever in the worlds beyond' so you can send the stress to the candle to be transmuted any time, any day, any where.  You can wash your hands, and visualize the stress washing away with the water.

Long Term Fixes

But wouldn't it be best to set up life so there is less stress?  Spend a little time early in the day (or the night before) getting things ready for the day.  Make a to-do list, many lists, so your day is organized and you don't forget things.  Do all you can pre-emptively.  Pay attention to details that will trip you up later.  Check your facts.  Exercise and eat right, so your body can better deal with what stress is going to happen. Give yourself extra time to do, well, EVERYTHING.

Frondly, Fern

Playing With Fire

Blessings, Darlings!

As some of y'all know, I have some issues with depression/Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  It started when I was very young, around age 10 or earlier.  Over the years I've tried a large assortment of therapies and drugs, and currently it's pretty well controlled with Effexor and having set up a system of accountability (so I don't try to duck/ignore anything that makes me anxious, a 'solution' which of course causes more problems than it solves).

Still, there are times when stress is high and it kicks in, and I have to change or increase medications or add some talk therapy for a while.  When that occurs ... I cut down or completely cut OUT doing deep spiritual work.

You may be asking 'why' - why would Fern 'turn from the Gods' when she seems to need them the most?

Well, I don't turn from the Gods - I still talk with them (and they get their messages across to me).  Same with the nature spirits, and the ancestors.  And I still meditate, since that helps (as does exercise, for that matter) But I do respect the intertwining of body/mind/spirit.  And I've found that it's best to work with one variable at a time.  

J. H. Brennan wrote about this in the introduction to Dolores Ashcroft-Nowicki's WONDERFUL book "The Ritual Magick Workbook".  He talks of having nervous breakdowns after starting his occult studies, and goes into why esoteric training easily and often increases depression to such an extent that it will push you over the edge.  The short reason is that MOST spiritual/occult things you do - in any system - are DESIGNED to influence all of your energy systems.  And all of your energy systems (physical, mental, spiritual, chi, endocrine, emotional, sympathetic and parasympathetic, kundalini, etc - ALL OF THEM ) interact in ways that are intricate and powerful. 


So, the last time this happened ... probably not coincidentally while the coven I'm in was doing a year of Kabalistic workings (and I was prepping the working on Binah, for goodness sake!) .... I took a leave of absence from the coven I'm in that allowed me to have space to adjust drugs/therapy without the added variable of continuing the Kabalistic (and other) coven work.  I felt it would be detrimental to MY mental health to continue at that time, and unfair for me to burden my High Priestess with mediating any effects my out of control spiritual/occult energies could have on the coven's Group Mind.  (For the record, I'm SURE she could have handled doing that!)


And I bring this up now .... why?


I'm so glad you asked that!  I bring this up because lately I've seen a whole lot of folks who have depression or other emotional and mental challenges who really really want to work on their spiritual development ... whose depression or mental illnesses are not currently under any control at all.  And I'm scared for them.  These paths we walk are dangerous even for those who aren't pre-disposed, and for those who are pre-disposed but controlled and aware of the dangers and early warning signs of trouble.  For those whose mental/emotional issues are NOT in control - on this path lies madness. 


Literally. Madness.  Dousing yourself with gasoline and jumping into bonfire madness.  Not peace.  Not initiation.  Not MORE control, but LESS control. 


Stop.  Don't do it.  Don't do energy work.  Don't do trance work.  Don't do Pathworkings.  Don't attend 'transformative workshops'.  Don't attend Pagan festivals, where folks get ungrounded as it is from all the energy darting about. 

Pray, yes.  Talk with the Gods.  Make offerings.  Honor the cycles of nature.  Attend generic public rituals. Stay grounded with exercise, good food, good air, talking with real counselors, try on the appropriate prescribed drugs.

Frondly, Fern

Mantrums

Blessings, Darlings!

The Chubby Hubby had quite the tantrum last night.

After months of job and financial stress, and a long-ass day, he was putting a cup of coffee into the microwave oven in order to heat it.  But he fumbled.  Coffee spilled.

And he lost it.  Totally.

Grabbing the lid of a Glad Ware casserole (which the Spawn was making Rice Krispy Treats in), he yelled, swore, beat the counter with the lid sending shards of cheap plastic all around the kitchen.  Spawn and I rolled our eyes.

Once the CH stopped, I ordered him to NOT return to work that evening and sent him to his room with a bottle ... of George Killians Irish Red beer.

Life Wellness Monday – Stress Reduction

Blessings, Darlings!

I’m starting our 100% increase in wellness series with the emotional wellness category. Specifically on how to better deal with stress, because life is full of stressors and change – what we are aiming for – is yet another stressor. And because I know MY blood pressure is up …from stress as well as other reasons like heredity, diet, weight, yaddayaddayadda.

Stress is defined as emotional and physical effects caused by our responses to external events. I sort of disagree with that definition a bit – I guess they’d see ‘having cancer you don’t know about’ as not being a stress but having an doctor TELL you that you have cancer as external and thus a stress. Eh. WebMD goes into stress in detail so you might want to read their article at http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-management-topic-overview. Because our minds and our bodies are connected in so many ways, stress affects not just our emotional state with worry, insomnia, and what have you but it also affects our body over time, lowering our resistance to infections, contributing to head aches, stomach problems, high blood pressure, etc. Not to mention (but I will) that not all of our responses to stress are healthy for us. Many people smoke more or drink more when under stress. Others are emotional eaters …. or non-eaters.

You can’t have a life free from stress. And since stress is part of growth and change, even positive growth and change, joining me on our 100% Increase in Wellness path is going to be a stress. Looks to me like we’d best learn to handle it as well as we can.

Fortunately, there are lots of areas here where we can take specific actions.

Some stresses in our lives are ‘optional’, and one simple step might be to avoid those stressors. There are some political pundits I simply do not watch/listen to, because I feel that they lie or ‘bend’ the truth, are hateful, etc. I do not watch them anymore. Someone else can monitor them instead of me.

If noise is stressing you in parts of your life – noise canceling headphones or regular ear plugs are wonderful things.

Still, other stresses are going to come through. What do we do about those?

If at all possible, solve whatever is causing the stress. That will have the most impact! But you and I both know that you can’t personally solve the problems in the economy, you can’t make the world safe for everyone, and the drivers on the road with you ARE nuts.

Exercise is one grand way to help you handle stress, especially if you work to focus on the exercise while doing it rather than on the external worries. And a physically tired body can usually overrule a running-on mind when it comes to sleeping at night. Dancing counts as exercise, by the way!

Meditation can be used to help the body and mind relax. There are meditative practices in all religions and many philosophies. Aryeh Kaplan’s book “Jewish Meditation” might be a great resource for Jews and most Christians, Catholics have resources on contemplation, atheists can pick any number of religion-free types (see Benson’s “The Relaxation Response”), etc. We non-Judeo Christians have lots of types of meditation our traditions use, as well as guided meditations and visualizations to choose from.

Oh, speaking of visualizations, once upon a time my car was stolen. It added to the stress I was under at that time. What I did was buy a white 7 day candle from the Hispanic foods part of the grocery store, set it up safely on my stove, and lit it. Whenever the anger, worry, stress of not having a car, etc. built up, I sent it to the candle flame to be consumed and transmuted into energy that I could make use of for positive things in my life. Like cleaning instead of pacing, for example.

Eating right when under stress will help your body deal with stress far better than eating too much, too little, or too much junk food. If you are stressed to the point it’s hard to eat, try mini-meals of a bit of protein and a bit of fruit and veggies. A half or quarter of a sandwich and a half or quarter of an orange. A small chunk of cheese and half an apple.

Yes, Chocolate has some effects that relieve stress. But it only takes a tiny bit of chocolate to have that effect, the rest is overkill.

Sleeping all day, or barely sleeping at all can be the result of stress. Work to get your full night’s sleep. You’ve heard the drill before. No evening caffeine. Stop watching stimulating TV a couple of hours before bed. Use your nightly rituals to help get you ready for bed.

Other things might choose to help you deal with stress – depending on the outside cause behind it – might be better time management, outsourcing some tasks you have been doing, etc.

Finally, there’s the BIGGIE – get professional counseling to help you deal with emotional stress. It might be just what some people need. Desensitizing therapies, for example, work particularly well with both phobias and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have a bias towards that and other cognitive-behavioral therapies.

Now – choose something and DO IT. That’s the key here. You’re only after a 11% increase in your level of relaxation. Which of these ideas, or some other idea, will get you that level of improvement?

I’m going off to meditate … but I’ll also hit up my husband or spawn for a back rub later.

Frondly, Fern