Pagan Conferences

Blessings Darlings!

Let me state this, again, up front:  If Z Budapest trashed "Niggers" and "Kikes" as she does "trannies" - do you really think she'd be invited to any conferences? If she banned Jewitches, and said "Kikes are just animals in human clothes, so they can't come to my rituals. Oh, that's hurtful? They still aren't coming, but I'm sorry THE TRUTH hurts" ....

Anyway ...

I'm now going to talk about what the roles of Pagan Conferences are or should be in the US.


I'm not talking about conferences by any one particular religious group for its members or people who want to participate in that particular religion.  I'm talking about a conference open to everyone in the Pagan community who can and will pay the admission price.  Many of them will come from far away, many won't be affiliated with a local pagan group or local pagan community.  Those that come who are involved in a local group aren't at the conference to learn more about their home group even if members ARE giving classes - they can get those at home, after all.  They traveled to the conference to get stuff that is NOT available at home.


Let's look at the "about" statements of several conferences/festivals on my side of the country:


"The Sacred Space Conference is a place and time of respectful sharing and thoughtful learning among the many rich and varied traditions, beliefs, paths and organizations found in the DC/Baltimore metropolitan region, the surrounding Mid-Atlantic area, and the world.  It is our hope that through this conference we will increase understanding and religious tolerance between the many traditions within the esoteric community, as well as within the public at large."

"Between The Worlds is an interfaith esoteric conference sponsored by the Assembly of the Sacred Wheel, a Wiccan non-profit religious organization. This conference is an opportunity to experience learning and rituals from a wide range of esoteric Paths."

"The Free Spirit Alliance is a spiritual networking organization serving the Pagan and Pantheist religious communities. Founded in 1985, our focus is and has been on presenting national, regional, and local events where people from all backgrounds can learn and share ideas. "


Learning and sharing, among a wide-range of folks.   Nothing less than that.  

Learning. Sharing.  Being exposed to the thoughts and rituals of many different groups.   Rituals to experience how those groups worship and work with energy.

That's what I say Pagan Conferences are for.

That said .....

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AND THERE ARE SOMETHINGS THAT PAGAN CONFERENCES ARE NOT (IMNHO)

None of those descriptions have anything about deliberately life changing rituals.  No promises of healing. No offer of spiritual breakthroughs.  


NOTHING THAT IS GOING TO SHATTER THE LIFE YOU LEFT.

I really worry for folks who seek spiritual breakthroughs at Pagan conferences, especially those who go back to being without group and community back home.  

Because 'breaking' and 'breaking through' is relatively easy.  Putting things back together in a new order - that is hard.  And is best done with the support of groups and community, not alone.  


Non-magical example:  I lived in the middle of Illinois for years.  One local therapist loved to help women separate out all their different parts.  Like ... dissociation/multiple personalities.  She honestly felt that doing this lead women to emotional breakthroughs.  But she never put them back into a cohesive whole.  Breaking the old without putting a new framework in place - simple destruction - left a trail of less functional, more broken, individuals.

Magical breakthroughs are very similar.  Looking at the coven I'm now in .... The coven was created (at the auspicious time) and we all became members.  And even that energy - no initiations, no elevations, just forming a coven and becoming members! - manifested in chaos in members lives.  Divorces and marital issues, unemployment and financial problems, internal communication issues, etc.  

Or even an encounter with the sweet, healing Goddess Bridget as Crone - where She announced She was going to work me over like she works a sword on Her forge - left me physically ill for months. Worked over, indeed!


Change SOUNDS great.  Change INVOLVES chaos.  We had each other, the group, the tradition and it's other members/HPs/HPSSs/Elders to rely on, and it was still chaotic.  


An actual spiritual breakthrough, at a conference, away from home, and you have to deal with travel after it ... and then being alone to deal with the chaos if you aren't part of a group.

And it doesn't matter if the breakthrough is 'healing'.  Healing is equally chaotic, especially if you are healing from long-standing issues.  You've build structure in your life around being broken.  Yes, you've shattered the Tower.  But you are now in mid-air, with debris around you and on every place you would land. NOW the real work starts.  And the ritual leader/healer doesn't stay in your life.  You are on your own.  Who is back home to even talk with about what is good to keep and what must be junked in your life?  Who can see magically what is going on that you might not be aware of, now brought to the surface?   


Because healing one area is going to bring up other areas that need healing, or areas you overcompensated in.  There will be fallout.  It was be ... yes ... chaos.


And if you do not have group/community back home, you will be alone.  With new chaos. 

Which is why life changing rituals, healings, etc, are to be done in your area, with people who are going to be around afterwards finishing the job - helping you clear up the chaos.

Let me summarize:

Pagan conferences are for sharing.
Pagan conferences are not for breakthroughs unless you seek a break-down.

Frondly, Fern 





 

Playing With Fire

Blessings, Darlings!

As some of y'all know, I have some issues with depression/Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  It started when I was very young, around age 10 or earlier.  Over the years I've tried a large assortment of therapies and drugs, and currently it's pretty well controlled with Effexor and having set up a system of accountability (so I don't try to duck/ignore anything that makes me anxious, a 'solution' which of course causes more problems than it solves).

Still, there are times when stress is high and it kicks in, and I have to change or increase medications or add some talk therapy for a while.  When that occurs ... I cut down or completely cut OUT doing deep spiritual work.

You may be asking 'why' - why would Fern 'turn from the Gods' when she seems to need them the most?

Well, I don't turn from the Gods - I still talk with them (and they get their messages across to me).  Same with the nature spirits, and the ancestors.  And I still meditate, since that helps (as does exercise, for that matter) But I do respect the intertwining of body/mind/spirit.  And I've found that it's best to work with one variable at a time.  

J. H. Brennan wrote about this in the introduction to Dolores Ashcroft-Nowicki's WONDERFUL book "The Ritual Magick Workbook".  He talks of having nervous breakdowns after starting his occult studies, and goes into why esoteric training easily and often increases depression to such an extent that it will push you over the edge.  The short reason is that MOST spiritual/occult things you do - in any system - are DESIGNED to influence all of your energy systems.  And all of your energy systems (physical, mental, spiritual, chi, endocrine, emotional, sympathetic and parasympathetic, kundalini, etc - ALL OF THEM ) interact in ways that are intricate and powerful. 


So, the last time this happened ... probably not coincidentally while the coven I'm in was doing a year of Kabalistic workings (and I was prepping the working on Binah, for goodness sake!) .... I took a leave of absence from the coven I'm in that allowed me to have space to adjust drugs/therapy without the added variable of continuing the Kabalistic (and other) coven work.  I felt it would be detrimental to MY mental health to continue at that time, and unfair for me to burden my High Priestess with mediating any effects my out of control spiritual/occult energies could have on the coven's Group Mind.  (For the record, I'm SURE she could have handled doing that!)


And I bring this up now .... why?


I'm so glad you asked that!  I bring this up because lately I've seen a whole lot of folks who have depression or other emotional and mental challenges who really really want to work on their spiritual development ... whose depression or mental illnesses are not currently under any control at all.  And I'm scared for them.  These paths we walk are dangerous even for those who aren't pre-disposed, and for those who are pre-disposed but controlled and aware of the dangers and early warning signs of trouble.  For those whose mental/emotional issues are NOT in control - on this path lies madness. 


Literally. Madness.  Dousing yourself with gasoline and jumping into bonfire madness.  Not peace.  Not initiation.  Not MORE control, but LESS control. 


Stop.  Don't do it.  Don't do energy work.  Don't do trance work.  Don't do Pathworkings.  Don't attend 'transformative workshops'.  Don't attend Pagan festivals, where folks get ungrounded as it is from all the energy darting about. 

Pray, yes.  Talk with the Gods.  Make offerings.  Honor the cycles of nature.  Attend generic public rituals. Stay grounded with exercise, good food, good air, talking with real counselors, try on the appropriate prescribed drugs.

Frondly, Fern