Are we all pagan/witch brothers and sisters?

Blessings, Darlings!

Subtitle: The distribution of assholes is pretty much uniform thru'out the world and amongst all groups.

 Yes, welcome to another installment of "oft bandied phrases" in the neopagan/witch world.  Today is "we are all brothers and sisters."

You're probably a nice enough person, but you are not my brother or sister.  My pagan/witch siblings are folks that I have built emotional bonds with over time.  I haven't done that with most of the folks who read this blog.  I CERTAINLY haven't done that with random folks in chat rooms, or folks I've just met at a Pagan festival.

Becoming family takes time.  And effort.  And shared crises.  It does not come automatically because we both say that we're pagan, or we both say that we practice witchcraft, or whatever.  It is NEVER automatic.  To pretend that it's automatic cheapens the shit out of it, it makes the term meaningless. 





                                                                                                                                                                         Every time you meet a new person - online or 'in real life' - you are starting off in Malkuth.  You need to practice Discernment to see if they are actually friend material.  You need to leave Greed behind - that is, you don't collect 'friends' for the sake of collecting friends.  Forced intimacy, pretending that they are your buddy immediately, sharing TMI immediately, etc - are warning signs, not invitations, about future intimacy and their respect of boundaries.



And not only are you starting off in  Malkuth - but you've got a whole bunch of Spheres to get to before you get to Da'ath.  It takes time. 



You're going to find that there are a lot of assholes out there, claiming to be your siblings.  To quote the Eurythmics, "Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused."  Discernment, baby, discernment.

Now, some folks are going to say that we're all trying to head in the same direction.  Uh -  nope.  We're not.  We are all on paths, but some paths are climbing one mountain, one a different mountain, one's heading for the sea, one to the plains, and they are on different continents.  Someone collared by the Morrigan is not heading the same place as someone called by Quan Yin ... or by Loki.  Don't paper over the real and profound differences between us - because THAT is part of what prevents actual intimacy.

If I don't know your phone number, so I can't text you for bail - you're not my brother or sister.
If you'd ask what I did to NEED bail money before saying you'd help raise it - you're not my brother or sister.
If you don't know if I prefer coffee or tea, you're not my brother or sister. (funny how I have this listed AFTER bail money ...)
If you don't know what my preferred pig farms are, you're not my brother or sister.

Just because a person is a pagan or a witch or whatever doesn't automatically make them ... friend worthy.  Let me repeat that the the folks in back: Just because a person is a pagan or a witch or whatever doesn't automatically make them ... friend worthy. And not all the friend worthy ones are going to become 'family'.  You're just not going to develop emotional intimacy with that many folks.  You certainly don't have it with strangers in chat rooms.

Frondly, Fern

Cycles....

Blessings Darlings!

So, I'm slowly getting better.  But now the Chubby Hubby is ill.  At least it got him after we made some progress on consulting projects in the business, and we have enough money to get thru' the the next month.  I'm quite fond of being able to pay the rent and utilities and such you know.  And our grocery spending will only be $100 below food stamp levels.  Whoo hoo!

I even made it to the stores for the 'big monthly shopping trip' yesterday.  I wasn't able to buy everything I'd have liked to (you can check my ideal monthly shopping list here) but I also hit the corned beef and beer on sale for St. Paddy's day and got wine to cook with, all for my $100.  I'm really low on sugar, but, let's face it, until I'm better I'm not likely to bake.  I've even been relying on store-bought cheap styrofoam bread since getting sick.

Being able to rely on the pantry while sick is of course making life easier.  We rely on apple juice when sick - it's sort of a family tradition.  When the Spawn started this round of illness I grabbed another bottle as insurance, even tho' we already had bottle here.  We're opening that bottle today for the Chubby Hubby.  The Spawn, who is working a 12-hour double shift today, won't have to drag his sorry butt to the grocery store after work to help his Dad out. 

Frondly, Fern

WEEKLY WELLNESS POST: Improve Your Wellness 100 %

Blessings, Darlings!

It's now almost 3 weeks into the new year. Do you know what that means? It means that most of the people who have made resolutions involving ... well ... ANYTHING are beginning to slip up on them. By February 1 the long-term users of health clubs will be able to get at the machines easily again, and grocery stores will stop having great weekly sales on diet foods.

By April 1, health club memberships and home exercise equipment will be readily available in classified ads.

It IS hard to change life habits. Change is painful enough, but add hunger or sore muscles or tendonitis or (my usual one) getting sick 2 or 3 weeks into an exercise program on top of that, the probability that the change won't stick increases dramatically.

It doesn't have to be like that.

I say that you can improve your health 100% in 21 weeks by making a series of SMALL and RELATIVELY EASY changes.

We all know that wellness is multi-faceted. Most wellness professionals seem to break it down into 7 major categories, along the lines of Physical, Mental,
Spiritual, Career, Environmental, Relationships, Financial. Or they do a tripartite division - body, mind, and spirit - a la Dr. Andrew Weil, at DrWeil.com. While I'm a Celtic Reconstructionist and DEEPLY into triads, and I have been into Dr. Weil's books for almost 40 years now - I find his three categories too broad, containing too many subdivisions, leading to a feeling of being overwhelmed. I prefer the 7 part division.

Here's the theory I'm putting forth, and that I'll be expounding on during this health series: IF you make ONE permanent change within ONE part of ONE the 7 aspects of health every three weeks, aiming for a 10 percent improvement in your health from what you have now THEN in one cycle thru' the 7 aspects you get a 94% increase in your health in 21 weeks. Not quite the 100% I talked about in the title, but close enough. Besides, once thru' the cycle once ... you start the cycle over working on one other goal within each of the 7 aspects. Two complete cycles in a year will yield over 200% increase in wellness!

In this series, every week I'll be writing about - cheerleading, if you will - one part of one aspect. You don't have to wait till I start cheering you on in next week's post to start making changes. You don't have to make the change I write about, or do them in the order I propose. Start ANYWHERE, aim for a 10% improvement in that one thing. A few weeks later, make another change that you think will net you another 10% wellness increase. Small changes, synergistic and cumulative over time.

Heck, aim at the low-hanging fruit first. If you know an easy change that will net a big improvement, go for that first. Let success build on success by starting that way.

Before I end this, let me make one thing VERY clear - wellness isn't just for the 'able-bodied' or those without chronic diseases. Wellness is about living the best life you as a UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL can live. It's not a once-size fits all thing, and all improvements for are based on where you are starting.

Frondly, Fern

Did I say "Chaos"?

One of my life goals is to 'lightly surf the waves of life's chaos'. I can't argue that the way to learn that is the same way one gets to Carnegie Hall - practice, practice, practice.

I don't recall asking for QUITE this much practice.

Mom's in the hospital, after a dizzy spell that she says is different than her previous ones. She may or may not get out today. I'm 750 miles away. I've left a message for her doctor to call me.

Son was driving on automatic and in the rain last Friday and didn't notice the car a bit in front of him slowing to turn left. He avoided hitting it, but skidded off the road. "Into a ditch" is how he reported it to us, a minute later. Well, only the front wheels were off the road, and the car has rear wheel drive. We reassured him, and he backed out and drove home. This was in the 'old' car, the 1992 Buick.

He wasn't driving the 'new' car - the 1999 Ford - because it is again stalling out in wet weather. We don't have the $ to again replace the sensor. And replacing it twice a year doesn't seem to be a great approach.

The past 4 days, really 4.5 days, have been wet and cold, so only the Buick was running reliably. If you consider having to shift into neutral at stop lights reliable (it needs a new transmission). So, with sunny and dry today I had looked forward to having a car myself and being able to get a bunch of prep chores done - buying gas, getting winterizing supplies, etc.

However, last night husband's main development computer stopped booting up. Some problem with password protection, but he doesn't USE password protection. Yes, fronds, Windows at its finest, bringing down a computer that doesn't even use the screwed up function. Oh, 2 or 3 weeks ago I asked husband to back up that computer. Did he? No. Did he take out the hard drive and back it up last night? No. He DID do that this morning.

While he did that, I got the gas, and then ran to the auto supply store (did I mention that the Buick started flashing an idiot light about coolant?) and, since the Dollar Store is next to the auto place, got glass cleaner refill and waxed paper that I needed and they had in stock. Then came home and put stuff away and put coolant into the Buick, just in time for son to drive off in that.

Husband still - and it's now after noon - hasn't left to get the computer repaired. I could have gotten a lot more outside the house chores done if I hadn't been waiting on him. Now, even if I had the car I can't go anywhere - I'm waiting on that call back from my mother's doctor.

I'm getting things done, but not the highest priority things, and not according to MY plans.

Well, enough of this. Time to get back on that surf board before the next wave comes.

Frondly, Fern