Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Are we all pagan/witch brothers and sisters?

Blessings, Darlings!

Subtitle: The distribution of assholes is pretty much uniform thru'out the world and amongst all groups.

 Yes, welcome to another installment of "oft bandied phrases" in the neopagan/witch world.  Today is "we are all brothers and sisters."

You're probably a nice enough person, but you are not my brother or sister.  My pagan/witch siblings are folks that I have built emotional bonds with over time.  I haven't done that with most of the folks who read this blog.  I CERTAINLY haven't done that with random folks in chat rooms, or folks I've just met at a Pagan festival.

Becoming family takes time.  And effort.  And shared crises.  It does not come automatically because we both say that we're pagan, or we both say that we practice witchcraft, or whatever.  It is NEVER automatic.  To pretend that it's automatic cheapens the shit out of it, it makes the term meaningless. 

                                                                                                                                                                         Every time you meet a new person - online or 'in real life' - you are starting off in Malkuth.  You need to practice Discernment to see if they are actually friend material.  You need to leave Greed behind - that is, you don't collect 'friends' for the sake of collecting friends.  Forced intimacy, pretending that they are your buddy immediately, sharing TMI immediately, etc - are warning signs, not invitations, about future intimacy and their respect of boundaries.

And not only are you starting off in  Malkuth - but you've got a whole bunch of Spheres to get to before you get to Da'ath.  It takes time. 

You're going to find that there are a lot of assholes out there, claiming to be your siblings.  To quote the Eurythmics, "Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused."  Discernment, baby, discernment.

Now, some folks are going to say that we're all trying to head in the same direction.  Uh -  nope.  We're not.  We are all on paths, but some paths are climbing one mountain, one a different mountain, one's heading for the sea, one to the plains, and they are on different continents.  Someone collared by the Morrigan is not heading the same place as someone called by Quan Yin ... or by Loki.  Don't paper over the real and profound differences between us - because THAT is part of what prevents actual intimacy.

If I don't know your phone number, so I can't text you for bail - you're not my brother or sister.
If you'd ask what I did to NEED bail money before saying you'd help raise it - you're not my brother or sister.
If you don't know if I prefer coffee or tea, you're not my brother or sister. (funny how I have this listed AFTER bail money ...)
If you don't know what my preferred pig farms are, you're not my brother or sister.

Just because a person is a pagan or a witch or whatever doesn't automatically make them ... friend worthy.  Let me repeat that the the folks in back: Just because a person is a pagan or a witch or whatever doesn't automatically make them ... friend worthy. And not all the friend worthy ones are going to become 'family'.  You're just not going to develop emotional intimacy with that many folks.  You certainly don't have it with strangers in chat rooms.

Frondly, Fern

1 comment:

  1. Let me add something here, if I may:

    If one DOES form familial-style emotional bonds with that mean people, then there is something very busy, anyway.