Put On Your Big Girl Panties.

Blessings Darlings!

I have typed that phrase, "Blessings Darlings", in almost 500 posts now.  It's not that I'm blessing you, you know - it's more like the Irish concept of "Catch the Blessings Already Sent Your Way."

But it's becoming more and more apparent that what my view of a 'blessed state of being' is is different from how others see it.  And we differ primarily in the role of the God/dess/es in achieving that state.

I see being blessed as being an adult, handling the every day events of life yourself.  Many every day events of life are great - birthdays, graduations, getting jobs, etc.  Some aren't great - deaths and diseases, money issues, etc. 

Being blessed, to me, is being able and WILLING to handle those things yourself.  Get a splinter?  Remove it (yes, own tweezers, and face the discomfort, and get it done), wash the area, maybe slap on some antibiotic ointment and a band-aid, and go one with life. No need to ask anyone else for tweezers you don't have and get your body fluids on their stuff, no need to get paranoid and make offerings to the God/dess of your choice that you don't get an infections.  And I DO assume your tetanus shots are up to date.  Because as a functional adult, you should be able to handle this.

So, too, most aspects of, say, storms.  You'll have homeowners insurance, flood insurance if necessary, know where you can evacuate to if needed, have the sense to get out in time to get to where you can evacuate to, etc. 

Others don't seems to see things the way I do.  They can't start their day without checking Tarot or some other form of divination to see what's going to happen.  They start their day asking for peace and protection, rather than for the strength and ability to handle what happens.  And, yeah, they've been doing this for so long that they do NOT have any personal strength, no personal flexibility, no ability to handle things.  And no skills at first aid. 

Functionally, they've been asking the Gods TO MAKE THEM INTO INFANTS, totally dependent on the God/dess/es and others.

Fuck that bullshit.

How about asking the Gods to send what you need to grow strong, wise, and experienced.  Ask them to send you challenges that will, over time, push you to learn new things.

In other words - ask to grow up, while you work on growing up yourself.

And, if you have to pull that Tarot card/set every day ... pull the cards in the morning, but don't look at them then.  Look at them in the evening, to see what you should have learned from the day.

Frondly, Fern

LW MONDAY: Finances - Insurance

Blessings, Darlings!

Yeah, I know that most of you Americans who read this are preoccupied with taxes right now. But while I'm writing on Financial Wellness today, it's not taxes that I'm writing about. It's the equally-confusing area of INSURANCE.

Since almost all blogging is personal, this was brought on by the health insurance company we currently have our business policy with sending us our renewal. And 20% rate increase. And since I was rather depressed and non-fuctional last year when we renewed I didn't notice that they had cut what they cover - from a $10/20/40 plan for drugs to a '75% coinsurance' plan.

Ya know how coinsurance USED to mean that if you were married and your spouse ALSO had insurance on you, claims would be split between the companies? That's not what it means now. "Coinsurance" NOW is code for 'copay'.

Assholes.

But it does explain why I've been paying a fortune for the drugs I'm trying to improve my health in order to get off of.

So - I'm suggesting that if you haven't check over ALL your insurance policies lately, it's time you did. Health, life, long term disability, homeowners/renters, car, whatever you have.

And shop around. It's not as hard to do now that you can do it online. I remember helping a friend shop around for his first car insurance in high school. I had to do it by phone, calling a multitude of agents for different companies. It took forever. OTOH, even then I could do it from the comfort of my room.

So far, in the few hours I've spend today - Easter, by the way. Happy Easter to those who celebate it - I've identified a new plan with a different company that looks like it will be both less expensive and cover my meds more. Take THAT, current company! I have till June 1 to lock a new plan in place, so I can fully research everything.

Go forth and be wonderful!

Frondly, Fern

Long Term 'Care' Rantfest

Yes, Fronds, I'm ranting.

Mom's still in the nursing home, getting rehab.

"Everyone" thinks that Mom now needs care 24/7. She has limited eyesight & hearing. She is paranoid and somewhat delusional (she thinks that people come into her condo thru' the walls and steal things). She doesn't feel that folks come in when others are staying with her - I assume because she gets stimulation with companionship so her brain doesn't fill in new things to see and hear. She has muscle weakness which along with her limited eyesight contributes to her falling. She has some level of dementia. This, to them, equals incompetence. This, to me, equals disabilities.

Mom would like companionship after the cousin that has been staying with her goes back to Florida.

The same cousin who wouldn't get her husband the lawyer to help Mom give me Power Of Attorney (either medical or financial) now wants me to make all medical and financial decisions for my mother. Which I can't legally do, because I don't have the bloody POAs. And which is hard for me to do since I am in DC and Mom in is Chicago. And NOW can Mom legally give me POA if she is 'incompetent', or do I have to bloody go to court and PROVE that she is 'incompetent'?

Let me guess - I'm supposed to hide the fact that she's 'incompetent' to get the POAs and then use the 'fact' that she's 'incompetent' to USE the POAs.

But let's add to that issues with Mom's Long Term Health insurance. Which I can't talk to, because I don't have the financial POA - and let's not pretend that insurance is about her medical issues, health, or safety. I need a FINANCIAL POA to get information from them.

The insurer that she has been sending thousands of dollars to for years and years and years is, shall we say, severely financially unsound. So, rather than saving that coverage for when she gets really frail and vulnerable and care is even more expensive, the cousins think we should use it now. The company may die, and, 'let's face it, she's 94, she's not going to live that much longer. In their 90's they go quickly'. This from a cousin whose father lived to 99.

But it IS true that our family members die soon after they go into nursing homes. Is it because they are old, because they are frail, or because they give up (or because of some combination of the above)? They last a month or two, then die of pneumonia.

Anyway, the Long Term Care insurer doesn't accept what any silly doctor, nursing home, social workers, therapists, etc, say a person needs. First, Mom needs a date when she'll be released from the nursing home. Then Mom will need to call them and ask for care, they will set up a phone evaluation of her, then they will send paperwork to the doctor, then a nurse will evaluate her, then they will decide what THEY think she needs. A 30 day process. They can't even tell me what her policy covers, since I don't have a financial POA. Never mind that I'm asking what MEDICAL/CARE coverage that is. So even if I had a medical POA I'd be screwed.

At the end of 30 days, of course, what THEY decide to cover is not guaranteed to be 'what the doctor ordered'.

And the policy only runs 3 years. Not to worry, says cousins, both she and insurer will be dead by then. Let's hear it for the Death Panels!


Frustratedly, Fern