Pampering is not self care.

Blessings Darlings!

Still working on getting the car repaired.  It has to go back in tomorrow, AGAIN.  That will be a full week.  And since June 4 - one week ago - the number of coronavirus deaths IN MY AREA have gone up 300%.  You bet your sweet ass that MY pasty white ass is still in deep social isolation.

Given how much I LOVE my carbs, it's really hard for me to work on my self care with English Muffins and hash browns around the house.  Which brings up a discussion we have had before, but from what I've seen in FB pagan groups (um, specifically in one that I've now been booted and banned from) it needs to be stated again.

Self care and pampering yourself are two different things.  Self care is always a good thing.  Pampering isn't always a good thing, depending on what you are doing, and how.

Self care is ... work.  It's eating right, and the right amounts.  It's making sure you get the sleep you need, the exercise you need, the shadow work you need to do (and that shit can be hard AND terrifying and you will need to push yourself HARD), the counseling you need, the learning to say no - and to say yes - that you need to learn, exercising, etc.  Breaking old patterns, that served you in the past but don't serve you now.

Pampering yourself is a pedicure, the English muffin or dessert or whatever once a week or so, a fancy restaurant, a fancy vacation.

Good knives are self care.  They will hold an edge and make your kitchen work faster and easier.  They will hold a sharp edge, and you are WAY less likely to cut yourself due to that fact.  A knife set that is very pretty but doesn't hold an edge and the pretty shit peels off is NOT self care.  It is pampering.  I'm not trying to sell it to you, but I want to show you this set that a friend bought, and it SUCKS DONKEY DONGS.  https://chefsvisionknives.com/products/cosmos?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5Kbs-8T66QIVlIrICh3SSgz-EAQYBiABEgICPPD_BwE  

Showering and doing a spiritual/emotional cleanse - you doing the work - is 2 minutes deep self care. Four minutes if you're also washing and conditioning your hair. Bath bombs are pampering.  I admit to some attitude towards this one, because I also find that cleaning the damn bathtub after doing on is a pain in the ass and not worth having done the bath bomb. 

Cleaning the house is self care.  Even if  you only have the spoons to do 10 minutes of it.  Learning to ground and center is self care, because then you can do it anywhere, any time, at a moment's notice and IN a moment.  Having to have the right crystal around to be able to ground ... at best that's training wheels.  Having to be outside barefoot on an organic plot of forest to be able to ground is pampering. 

[pardon me while I go do some research - we are suddenly having a discussion about whether crystals of quartz are igneous.  They are, but are a precipitate.  It's very strange to me.]

Things that make your life easier (in the short or long term) are self care.  Buying that 1 pound container of Organic Spring Salad Mix is self care, if that means you'll actually eat salad, while if you buy a head of lettuce that you need to wash and chop means you won't eat salad.  Frozen corn instead of corn on the cob, since you don't have to clean the silk and husks off the cob?  Self care.  Boneless chicken breasts or thighs instead of cheaper chicken leg quarters?  Yup.

It's not that milk shakes, and lots of chocolate, and big bowls of pasta slathered with butter pedicures or fancy vacations or going to Ruth's Chris Steak House are evil.  You just shouldn't mistake them for self care.  Pampering yourself isn't evil (unless you are enslaving someone else to do it, but prison labor, slave labor, etc are issues for another day). 

I'm just saying to not confuse the two.

Frondly, Fern

White Cake

Blessings Darlings!

The car is dead AGAIN.  Died Saturn's Day, as the Chubby Hubby and I were in the next town over to buy cartridges for the printer and fax and an upgrade of Adobe paraplegic Acrobat for his new laptop.  Just suddenly DEAD. Battery would crank, but engine wouldn't catch.  He thinks bad fuel when I filled earlier that day, tho' I only got 4 gallons.

At any rate, the car is at the towing company, which is very close to the repair shop.  The repair place isn't open weekends, so we couldn't really take it directly there.  Spawn took a cab back from work today, and he'll try to get rides and only take cabs when needed to work tomorrow (and may call out Monday, since he isn't scheduled for many hours and the damn cab is $25 plus tip each way!).

I was going to do grocery shopping while we were out, too, so I'm low on a few things.  Like eggs.  Which is sad since I wanted eggs for Mothers Day breakfast.  And I want to make some cupcakes.

I WILL make the cupcakes, but instead of making yellow cake ones I'll be using a White Cake recipe and using all those egg whites we have in the freezer.  We accumulate those because the Spawn uses mostly egg yolks in many of the things he cooks - like the quiches and ,,,, well, something else he cooks that is escaping my memory now.  I have probably 5 egg whites in the freezer, and I'll use them all in the cake recipe tho' it only calls for 4.

Being a Prepper, of course, I have lots of dried eggs in #10 cans and a few smaller cans of dried egg whites around.  But once those are open you  have to use them, so I'd rather not open them unless TSHTF (the shit hits the fan).  I've cooked with them before - when I worked in the shelter in Central Illinois we got a lot of surplus dried eggs.  They were fine, but they are not my first choice in cooking with.

So, Monday I'll be making bialys AND cupcakes.  We have lots of strawberries, so those will go with the cupcakes, sort of using them instead of biscuits for Strawberry Shortcake. 

And depending on the diagnosis on the car, I might be biking to the store this week instead of having the Spawn pick up groceries on his way back from work.  Because I have eggs listed on the menu for dinner on Thursday.  And we'll run out of milk by Wednesday, and my husband is not thrilled with reconstituted dry milk. 

Mind you, if he had to drink it, he would.  If we had to eat dried eggs, we would and we'd enjoy them in omelettes and such.  Which is why all this is a 1st world problem, except for the problem with the Spawn getting to and from work. 

Frondly, Fern

Fern's First World Problems

Blessings Darlings!

I'm not one to whine .... oh, wait.  I totally am one to whine, I just don't usually do it online, I inflict it on my husband and Spawn instead.  Today, OTOH, I'm inflicting it on the world.  That was your warning.  You may want to stop reading now and go on to something more useful.

We have one car for the three of us.  This is not usually a problem.  The Spawn is the only one who works outside the house and as long as he's out I have him do the shopping.  Which is great unless the car acts up.  Yes, the car is acting up.  It hasn't like running in wet weather for about 5 years, we've spent about $1k failing to get the problem fixed.  Having the car live in the garage instead of the driveway has helped, and having me drive the Spawn to and from work so the car can be garaged even on rainy workdays has been a work-around.  Well, it worked up until this last weekend, when I got stranded on the side of the road 3 times.  WITHOUT A BOOK!  THAT was my own fault. 

So, with the Spawn having 3 days off in a row (his workplace is at the end of their fiscal year, and to keep their labor costs more in line with where they should be most hosts are being told to not come in most days) I drove the car to the repair shop 12 miles away.  In the rain. Nervous. And the dang thing drove there fine (lighter rain, maybe?) so I can't even DEMONSTRATE the problem.  Took a cab home.

Meanwhile, the Chubby Hubby has an abscessed tooth.  Pain started Thursday, he thought it was a sinus problem due to record levels of pollen - he's had toothaches that were sinus-caused before.  Saturday morning it was clear that it wasn't sinus, he looked like a chipmunk on one side of his face.  Urgent care gave him antibiotics, we got home before the rain started and the car problems began.  He's feeling better, looks a BIT less swollen, and we know he still needs the tooth dealt with.

He has an appointment early tomorrow for tooth removal, since he lost chunks of tooth and the filling weeks ago .... which certainly let the infection get started there.  But with the car in the shop it will cost a lot to get to the city where the oral surgeon is.  Like $70+ for the round trip.  Cash.  Sigh.

At least these ARE First World Problems for us.  Not because we have insurance to pay for any of this - we don't have dental insurance.  But because we can afford to pay for antibiotics, and tooth removal, and taxi's, and it hit at a good time for us to try to get the car problem really repaired (and get an oil change and the burnt out turn signal bulb replaced while they're at it). 

We're lucky,  An abscess like this, untreated, can and does kill people.  The Spawn could be hitching to and from work every day (or still trying to find a job walking distance from home).  Surrounded by blessings we are, even while handling life's little challenges.

Moving, Day 2

Blessings, Darlings!

This is a long-ass post, because I'm having long-ass days.

Yes, I know I didn't blog about Moving Day 1. I'm combining it here.

You know how they say that battle plans last only until the battle begins? So, too, for moving plans. 

The Chubby Hubby had this aggressive plan on which rooms we'd move each day, what time we'd leave by, etc.  The CH lives in a fantasy world.

I figured we'd leave to get the truck by 8:30, be home with it before 10:00. Uh, no. We didn't leave till 9:30 because CH wasn't ready.  But we got there and I discovered that we could have gotten there at 7:30, a fact the CH hadn't told me.  Fine, we're now running late.  I have to be at the house by 2 because cable guy is coming between 2 and 5, and the electrician is coming at 4 - but the husband plans to be there WELL before 4, with the loaded truck, to meet the electrician.

So problem 1 - we ran late.

Problem 2 - as we drove to get the truck, the battery light lit up in the car.  The car I was going to leave out in at noon, to drive to the country.  Where I know there are places on the road which have no cell phone coverage (middle of the Potomac river bridge is just one place).  So after the CH heads off in the truck for home, I drive the car to the mechanic - the one we give so much business to that we call him our Corporate Partner (this is what happens when you are keeping older cars on the road), and explain the problem.  And that the Check Engine light is on as well, because the engine is running too lean.   I asked him to look at things and give us a call, giving him the CH's cell  number.  Spawn picks me up from there and we meet CH at home.

I call Comcast to verify that the cable guy is coming.  It takes 20 minutes to get thru' to a human and do this.  Husband was on the phone with someone else during all this, I've forgotten who or why. I run out to get rope and a lock for the truck.

Time to load truck.  Well, it turned out that spawn had packed about 20% of his room and the pantry, rather than the 80% I had assumed he had packed.  What had he been doing over those days?  I have NO idea.  I had the library fully packed, and the living room and my office 80% packed before running out of room to put the full boxes.

Notice that CH hadn't packed a thing? That the office/laboratory/business hadn't been packed at all? Sigh.

I help load the truck as fast as I could from 11:30 till noon, when I had to leave. Very little was on truck.  But I leave two men in charge.  No problem, right?

I get to the house early, so I take a side trip to find out where the Aldi's is.  Success!  I even find a faster route than the obvious one back from the Aldi's.  Get to the house a little before 2.

And I wait.  I clip coupons. I plug in the laptop (I brought it and a small TV so I could be damn sure cable and internet worked before cable guy left), and listen to music. And I go online thru' an unsecured ethernet connection someone in the area has, to see what's on sale at Rite Aid and Food Lion.  I also have lunch.

I wait more.  Around 4 the cable guy arrives, I explain what we want, he marvels at the kluges others have put in for cable wiring.  He gets to work.

Husband calls - they are running late.  They leave the house around 3:30, for a two hour drive. Electrician is due at 4.  He tells me what he wants done.  Fine.

Cable guy keeps working. I keep waiting. At 4 CH calls - ooops he forgot he can't take a truck on the parkway. He's taking Rt 1 instead.  Will be later than his already late estimate.  Whatever.

Electrician gets there at 5 ish.  We go over what is needed.  He'll report it to the business owner, I'll report to husband, they'll talk tomorrow about the estimate.

Husband gets there around 6.  Cable guy is just finishing up, I'm signing the finished work order.  Husband and son haven't had lunch yet.  I offer food, husband wants to unpack truck while there is light.

We start unpacking. One bookcase promptly falls apart.  It gets dark.  I send the guys in to nuke some dinner.  Spawn makes his in oven instead, takes 45 minutes.  He does little unloading during his wait.  I unload and unload and then nuke some dinner for me.  We finish unloading a bit before 9, leave out around 9. 

I take a seriously needed shower, and several ibuprofens. 

That, my dears, was day 1.  About 1/2 of planned objectives met.

Day two begins.  I do dishes. I start packing, since now I have room to put full boxes again.  Get my office and the living room to 90% done. 

The guys slowly start packing.  Then they break to vote and pick up repaired car.  The one no one called us to give us an estimate or approve work on.  Which now has a rebuilt alternator, and a bill of $600.  They return.

I head out to vote and hit the store for more prepared meals, and a veggie tray, and OJ, and to fill the car.  Come back and pack and make boxes for CH.  It takes CH 16 boxes to pack his first bookcase.  We start loading truck.  My knee - the one with torn cartiledge and arthritis - soon tells me that I can't do the stairs a whole lot.  I go back to packing.

Husband's schedule says that the library, my office, the living room, and the kitchen will all be done being moved by end of day.  It is 3:35 right now - I've barely started packing the kitchen.  We are consistently making 1/2 of the estimated progress each day.

But we're at least at 100% of painkiller.

I must get packing and lifting and loading. 

Frondly, Fern