I want. I want. I want.

Blessings Darlings!


I'm having one of those days where my personal 'wants' list is growing exponentially. 


I want a new used car (since our current only car is STILL not running in the rain).
I want a new bicycle, that actually fits my under 5 foot tall frame instead of being too big. And that has fenders so I can ride when it's wet. 
I want a bike trailer.
I want to learn how to maintain my bike on my own.
I want to learn how to do my own at least basic car maintenance.
I want the hardware to do my own basic car maintenance once I learn how to do it.
I want to split another grass-fed organic steer with friends.
I want a share in an organic local CSA.
I want to own my own home.
I want to live where there is no HOA.
I want goats.
I want chickens.
I want a really good deer fence around my garden.
I want to lose 70 pounds.
I want to be able to bike 40 miles a day, on hills.
I want dental insurance.
I want my son to make more money, so he can pay off the university and then save money to pay for those two more semesters he needs to get his Bachelors Degree.  In Psych. Which is marginally more useful than a BA in Philosophy.

Too many of these need money.  But I'm working on the ones that need my efforts.  I'm biking regularly .... even if today I could only do 4 miles on the local hilly roads.  And I'm afraid to bike to Suz's, since the road she lives on is hillier than the one I live on!  I'm exercising and eating better, which should eventually lead to weight loss.  I've signed up for my first bike maintenance/repair class.  I've looked for local (like, within 35 miles) classes on car repair and haven't found any yet, but I'm still looking.  I'm taking the existing car back in to the shop this week, to point out that it still dies in the rain (but that's going to include money.  OTOH, it will include less money that getting another car). 

Oh, the car. I admit it only died in the INCREDIBLE rain we had, not a normal rain.  But we haven't been driving in normal rain because we're afraid.  This time the rain hit while the Spawn was at work.  I suppose I should have driving him since there were thunderstorms predicted.  He waited an hour after it died to see if it would start, then had it towed home.  $90 for the tow. Should he have waited in the dark another hour?  Dunno. 

Spawn is applying for jobs in OUR town, instead of the larger/busier town he works in now, so we can get around the car problem.  It's not like he's making a penny more than minimum wage, so if he gets one his hourly wage won't go down.  And since the restaurant isn't getting much business he's getting sent home early a lot, so he's likely to get a job with as many hours.  Since there doesn't seem to be any advancement where he is - heck, he hasn't even been allowed to watch all the training videos for HIS position since they don't want to have him on the clock due to their low sales - darn near any other job will have as much promotion potential. 

He's not likely to get one locally until fall, when the students get back.  But if he applies every fortnight over the summer they'll get used to seeing him AND learn that he's persistent.  Okay, what they'll really learn is that *I* am persistent in kicking his butt out the door to apply for jobs. 

Anything you want?  What are you doing to get it/them?

Frondly, Fern

Infinity and Beyond!

Blessings, Darlings!

It's a quiet morning here in the mountains.  Well, not totally - the Spawn was awoken by an emergency call from work, asking him to cover another shift ... on top of the short shift he's working tonight.  Being woken up by the phone is jarring.

Still, it's the first sunny morning in days.  I can sit out on the deck sipping a cuppa without getting wet.  Instead I'm going over my e-mail, facing where Infinity lurks.

Infinity - something boundless and endless. I'm not talking about the Internet, actually I'm not referring to the computer/online at all.  I'm facing a part of myself, evoked by e-mail.

The evocation came from a Woot ad.  I LOVE reading Woot ads - they have the best damn copy writing on the planet, and I read the ads daily for inspiration (I stole styles for business letters and ads more than once).  However, this ad was different.

I want the product.

That doesn't happen all that often.  I'm not that into what they actually offer most of the time.  In the years I've been reading the ads I've bought two items - both for the business not for 'me' per se.

And in wanting the item, I allowed myself to wonder how I'd fit the purchase into our budget.  Which meant having to think of all the other things I wanted to spend money on.

That, my dears, is where I came face to face with the Infinite. My own needs, wants, and desires.

From the actual necessities (basic food/clothing/shelter, paying off what I've already got, and maintenance of what we already have), to my wants (different home cooked food, tailoring of clothes, etc) to my desires (everything else in the universe that I want!!!! and want NOW!!!) - there was infinity. 

It was scary.  And humbling - I don't usually think of myself as being as materialistic as I am.  Denial works, but only for a while.

But I'm sure I can achieve denial again.  So I'm writing a blog post distract myself from the reality of the experience, and with the distance of a few minutes of time I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get back into comfortable denial.

And then I'll get back to work on my basic needs, by planting some turnips and spinach in the fall veggie garden.

Frondly, Fern