Havamal, Part 5

Blessings Darlings!

So, where did we leave off?  Oh, yeah - we're in a social situation, dealing with that most irritating of all things - other people.  

It really doesn't matter if this is 'purely social' or a business situation, really.  You're going to run into the same things whenever and where ever you are with others.

 

The wise guest has his way of dealing
With those who taunt him at table:
He smiles through the meal,
not seeming to hear
The twaddle talked by his foes.

Ah, selective hearing - or at least selective responding!  Give the shitheads enough rope to hang themselves.  Don't cower, don't get roped into responding on their time table.  And most of all - this tactic endears you to a reasonable host because they won't have to clean up bodies afterwards.

The tactful guest will take his leave Early,
not linger long:
He starts to stink who outstays his welcome
In a hall that is not his own.

 While this is mostly about not overstaying your welcome, there's another aspect to it:  showing yourself to be a person with MANY things going on in your life.  You can't stay at one meeting beyond your schedule, for you are going to meeting with other people.  Scarcity is part of your marketing yourself.  Buy now!  Only a few left!

A small hut of one' s own is better,
A man is his master at home:
A couple of goats and a corded roof
Still are better than begging.

A small hut of one's own is better,
A man is his master at home:
His heart bleeds in the beggar who must
Ask at each meal for meat.

I'm sure you already knew that being homeless and jobless is miserable.  But, look deeper.

Your employer is NOT your Master. Remember that.  They hired you because you are worth MORE than your wages. 

A wayfarer should not walk unarmed,
But have his weapons to hand:
He knows not when he may need a spear,
Or what menace meet on the road.

Back to situational awareness!  And, having lived in two no-carry states until 15 months ago - while your main weapon is your mind, don't despise martial arts training.....

No man is so generous he will jib at accepting
A gift in return for a gift,
No man so rich that it really gives him
Pain to be repaid.

Showing gratitude matters, even in small mostly symbolic ways. And, of course, repaying makes it clear that you aren't a bum.

Once he has won wealth enough,
A man should not crave for more:
What he saves for friends, foes may take;
Hopes are often liars.

To me, this speaks more against hording than against investing or other income generating actions.  

Now - on to how to treat great friends, and great foes, while remembering that most folks fall somewhere between the two extremes:

With presents friends should please each other,
With a shield or a costly coat:
Mutual giving makes for friendship,
So long as life goes well,
A man should be loyal through life to friends,
To them and to friends of theirs,
But never shall a man make offer
Of friendship to his foes.

A man should be loyal through life to friends,
And return gift for gift,
Laugh when they laugh,
but with lies repay
A false foe who lies.

If you find a friend you fully trust
And wish for his good-will,
exchange thoughts,
exchange gifts,
Go often to his house.

If you deal with another you don't trust
But wish for his good-will,
Be fair in speech but false in thought
And give him lie for lie.

Share with your friends.  Share with your foes.  In both case, share what they are giving you.

Even with one you ill-trust
And doubt what he means to do,
False words with fair smiles
May get you the gift you desire.

When in doubt, don't let them know you doubt them.  Let them think that they are in that 'middle ground' of people you don't DIStrust.  

To a false friend the footpath winds
Though his house be on the highway.
To a sure friend there is a short cut,
Though he live a long way off.

Hotter than fire among false hearts burns
Friendship for five days,
But suddenly slackens when the sixth dawns:
Feeble their friendship then.

Ah, and if you think you haven't made a judgement about people (or they didn't make a judgement about you!) ... think again!  

The generous and bold have the best lives,
Are seldom beset by cares, ,
But the base man sees bogies everywhere
And the miser pines for presents. 

Leadership rules!  Being afraid, always covering your assets because of whatever fears you may have, endears you to no one.

The young fir that falls and rots
Having neither needles nor bark,
So is the fate of the friendless man:
Why should he live long?  

 Having friends matters - being part of society, a working, giving part, makes life worth living.

On that note, I've got more posts to write and, since I'm writing this is Valentine's Day, calls to make and chocolate to prepare for the Chubby Hubby.

Frondly, Fern