It's a quiet morning here in the mountains. Well, not totally - the Spawn was awoken by an emergency call from work, asking him to cover another shift ... on top of the short shift he's working tonight. Being woken up by the phone is jarring.
Still, it's the first sunny morning in days. I can sit out on the deck sipping a cuppa without getting wet. Instead I'm going over my e-mail, facing where Infinity lurks.
Infinity - something boundless and endless. I'm not talking about the Internet, actually I'm not referring to the computer/online at all. I'm facing a part of myself, evoked by e-mail.
The evocation came from a Woot ad. I LOVE reading Woot ads - they have the best damn copy writing on the planet, and I read the ads daily for inspiration (I stole styles for business letters and ads more than once). However, this ad was different.
I want the product.
That doesn't happen all that often. I'm not that into what they actually offer most of the time. In the years I've been reading the ads I've bought two items - both for the business not for 'me' per se.
And in wanting the item, I allowed myself to wonder how I'd fit the purchase into our budget. Which meant having to think of all the other things I wanted to spend money on.
That, my dears, is where I came face to face with the Infinite. My own needs, wants, and desires.
From the actual necessities (basic food/clothing/shelter, paying off what I've already got, and maintenance of what we already have), to my wants (different home cooked food, tailoring of clothes, etc) to my desires (everything else in the universe that I want!!!! and want NOW!!!) - there was infinity.
It was scary. And humbling - I don't usually think of myself as being as materialistic as I am. Denial works, but only for a while.
But I'm sure I can achieve denial again. So I'm writing a blog post distract myself from the reality of the experience, and with the distance of a few minutes of time I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get back into comfortable denial.
And then I'll get back to work on my basic needs, by planting some turnips and spinach in the fall veggie garden.