Blessings, Darlings!
Three years ago this summer I had a hysterectomy. No 'emergency' - I just couldn't stand the problems my fibroids were causing, menopause was NOT happening to cure them, and I had put off dealing with the problem so long that removing just the fibroids was not an option.
So I joined the ranks of women who are missing one or more 'woman bits'.
I thought it odd when my High Priestess asked me if I had any issues like "I'm less of a woman without a uterus". That hadn't even occurred to me. Now, being a human in US society had I had one or both breasts removed I was sure I'd have become even MORE body conscious, and even MORE convinced that my body didn't measure up - but not that I was less of a woman.
That said ... suddenly a year had passed since the hysterectomy, and I hadn't gone into trance and 'reacquainted' myself with my belly. So I prepared to do that, and realized that I felt that there was a 'hole' there. How odd, I felt. Sure, the uterus had been as big as if I was 5 months pregnant, but I didn't consciously realize that I visualized a 'hole' there. Into trance I went ...and found that in physical and spiritual reality there was no hole, no empty spot. My inner organs, squeezed for space for 8 years, had re-alligned and were comfortably spread out in their rightful places, while part of my mind hadn't realized that. My ovaries, which the doctor left in place to continue their fairly slow decline into menopause, were still functioning happily if a little pebbly.
Wow. No hole. But the ovaries reacted to the attention by kicking back into hot flash mode. Nothing major - in fact, they are great over the winters.
Still, I'm clear that I'm no less a woman for not having a uterus. My cousins who have lost breasts to breast cancer are no less women for having lost them (and one totally delayed her mastectomy until she could have the BEST doctor at replacement implants on her team - which I felt was a interesting way of asserting that she was going to live and live WELL after treatment).
Body parts don't define what a woman is. Not for us cis-women, with or without all our parts. Not for trans-women, at whatever stage they are at. Womanhood is in the spirit, the mind, the soul.
Live it!
Frondly, Fern
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Thank you. I really hate it when people tell me that bleeding once (or more times) a month makes me One with The Goddess[tm]. I've dealt with a lifetime of cramps from my kidneys to my toes, hormone-induced migraines, feeling like Bloaty the Whale, etc etc ad nauseum. I'd get my bits yanked if it were at all advisable at this point in my life; it isn't. Unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteI'm really sick of being defined by my reproductive status.
Thank you! As Erynn stated, my reproductive status doesn't define who I am.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 30, I had to have emergency surgery to remove one of my ovaries which decided to have a life of its own. But, I do not miss my ovary and my fallopian tube at all! I'll probably lose my other one since I get such large cysts on it. I'll still be a woman, still be a Mom, still be ME.